April 2002

As some of you may well know, I look after The Hovel using a 56k modem. This wasn't too painful in the early days when the whole site weighed in at a mere twenty or thirty megabytes, but it now runs to something more like three hundred and fifty. Moreover, as meaty DXes and chunky JPeMu files become the norm, tenderly caring for this massive blob of data is becoming increasingly intolerable.

To be honest, I could live with that (and have been doing for some time), but in recent weeks I've been getting an increasing volume of e-mails from people asking for more reviews, more articles, more musings and more rants. Simply downloading and uploading files, as well as maintaining the ever-growing download tables is taking up more and more of my Hovel time. Something has to give, I enjoy doing the writing, as in so far as I can tell, you enjoy reading what I write - so it makes sense to concentrate on that.

There are now several other solid, fast, reliable MPU downloads sites out there, and there seems precious little point in me duplicating what they're all already doing perfectly well. If you're not currently using or aware of them, from the LINKS page take a look at MPU World and DX'CELLENT, as well as MPU Emu and Fruit Machine World. Between them these sites host every single ROM and layout ever released, and are always on the ball with new releases.

Effective immediately, the download tables will not be updated again, and no new files will be uploaded to the server. I will not be deleting the download tables or any files from the servers, so newcomers to the scene will always be able to start off their collections using this site if they want to, and you'll be able to return to re-download any old files whenever the need arises.

I sincerely hope that this doesn't cause too many problems for too many of you, I know that there are a good number of people who still use The Hovel as their major point of contact with the scene, and who rely on it for their downloads, but as I've already said, there are now several other sites you can grab files from. To be quite frank, I either lose the downloads from this site or shut it down completely, because as it stands it is using up far too much of my free time and starting to feel scarily like a second job, the last thing I want to do is end up resenting the site and the scene - because it really would be impossible to continue with the writing then.

In return, I hope to be able to get back to adding new reviews and articles on a regular basis (as I did in The Hovel's early days); I've had several articles on the back burner for a while now, and these have never been finished, simply because by the time I've completed the daily file management and table updating duties I've precious little enthusiasm left.

I'm hoping that there are enough of you out there who enjoy and visit this site on the strength of its content to make the new "words and pictures only" Hovel a viable proposition, because obviously, if you don't visit, there's precious little point in it being here. If any of you have any strong feelings on all of this one way or the other, please don't hesitate to drop me a mail.

Finally, I will continue to announce new releases here exactly as I always have done, the only difference will be that the "ROM" and "DAT" links will be missing from the end of the ** NEW RELEASE ** line.

** NEW LAYOUT ** - "CASH ATTACK" DX - Unlocked DAT
** NEW LAYOUT ** - "WACKY WEEKEND" DX - Unlocked DAT
** LAYOUT UPDATED ** - "VIZ" CLASSIC - Unlocked DAT

Cash Attack is the latest DX from Russ, and mighty fine it is too. This is also the first layout Russ has sent me that hasn't needed a single thing changing about it before uploading - it's good to see how Russ has developed over the months to the point where he's an entirely self-sufficient and thoroughly competent layout designer. The scan of the flyer he's based the layout on could do with being clearer, but he's still managed to do a great job with the lamps. Everything you'd expect to find is correct and in place, only omission I can find is that the bonus award lamps to the left of the reels aren't implemented, but as they are indicated on the display this isn't a problem.

Wacky Weekend DX is another quality release from Dean, this is a very "busy" layout, which is understandable as the original machine was too. This does mean that some of the text on the lamps is difficult to make out, but once you've gone round the board a few times you'll learn what's where - and it doesn't detract from the overall enjoyment factor.

Finally we have a sanctioned update to Gary's original release of Viz. The update is by Moe Szyslak, quite what he's doing working on MPU3/4 layouts after twelve years looking after his tavern I really don't know, but the update is very welcome regardless, the two sides of the feature board have been swapped around so that they're in the correct position, and all the usual V8.xx enhancements have been applied.

Apologies for this brief, humourless and downright dull update, but I have to dash and collect my nearest and dearest off the ferry, and hopefully, I'll be far too busy later to get this done.

28th April - Mr Moneybags and Andy Capp up a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
Homoerotic shocker as archetypal Northern slacker and respected financier get it on

** NEW JPeMu RELEASE ** - "MONOPOLY 60" CLASSIC - JEL (layout file)
** ALTERNATIVE LAYOUT ** - "ANDY CAPP" DX - Unlocked DAT

Oohhh, now this is a bit more like it. Those of us packing any less processor power than the might of every single one of NASA's guidance systems combined, multiplied by ten and then multiplied by ten again just for a bit of a laugh, had all sorts of problems with the Monopoly 60 DX release - namely that it ran like a tranquillised sloth which wasn't in any particular hurry to get anywhere and was high on Valium as well as whacked out on smack (well, it wasn't that bad, but you get the idea, I certainly couldn't get a playable game out of it).

Fortunately Harvey has come to our rescue and released a kick-ass classic of the same game, and as is often the case with a top quality classic layout, it really lets the game shine through. However, Monopoly 60 is far from JPM's best, the terribly linear nature of the relatively short trail limits the gameplay possibilities, and you'll soon learn that you're as good as dead once you get past Piccadilly unless there's a jackpot in the offing. It's not all bad though, the music is super-funky (or at least old farts like me might think so), the bonuses are varied and skilful, and the features (awarded from the diamond on the middle reel (should be Mr Moneybags, Harvey has a fixed version on the way)) are entertaining. Plus there's still a kernel of the fundamentally skilful nature of JPM's games present - the "throw a double" to get out of jail is always true skill, for example. You'll need to be able to hit the double as well, because it's not shy when it comes to putting you in jail more times per feature than the average Tory cabinet minister would be expected to manage in his career - it's also a good way to get a shot at collecting a full set for "Sets Appeal" (great pun, laugh? I nearly did).

Smashing layout from Harvey, with lovely use of some "proper" artwork - the chance/community chest cards in particular are very well done. It's colourful without being gaudy, and recreates the look and feel of the original machine very well. File size is an alarming 4.3mb, but this is an issue with the graphical compression techniques (or lack thereof) within JPeMu itself (likely to be addressed in future releases) - and hey, you all got ADSL these days, right? (Apart from me, bastard stupid 56k.....). So go on! Take a "chance" on Monopoly, you'll be "set" up for "bags" of fun in no time, it's what the whole "community" is talking about right now! (Oh dear - that was fucking awful).

Today's other release is an alternative DX for Andy Capp from Ryan Palmer. Hissy little fits along the lines of "That layout's mine, I was doing it first!" aside, it's obviously good for everyone to have the choice to play whichever layout they choose. Generally speaking I'll carry the best version of any given layout on this site, but I'm unable to decide which of Ryan's and Nicky Special's Andy Capp DXes is superior to the other. Ryan's got a little more contrast and brightness into some of the lamps than Nicky has, and his "Flo" lamps on the feature trail are definitely better. On the other hand, Nicky's work on the trail entry lamps floats my boat, and I prefer his overall style, which leans towards a slightly softer, warmer appearance - whilst still retaining the required clarity.

So which is best? Ummm, I really can't say - download both and make your own mind up - empower yourselves and make the choice, because I'm being a wimpy twat and I refuse to nail my colours to the mast. Which isn't very good at all for an opinionated cunt like me, is it?

** NEW RELEASE ** - "PINBALL NUDGER" DX - ROM & Unlocked DAT available now.
Note: ROM link will take you to Empire's site.
Note: This layout is a mod of a nearly completed layout originally by Gary.

A much requested and often previewed layout that never quite seemed to appear is finally delivered courtesy of the scene's latest doer, Nicky Special, the most prolific DX powerhouse the scene currently has. Even at this early stage of his layout career Nicky is turning out some superb releases (which is only to be expected from one of the VP scene's brightest talents), and Pinball Nudger is his best so far. Superb clarity, fantastic lamps, skinned buttons, backlit reels, all shortcuts and meters correct and in place, it's everything we've come to expect from the scene's longest standing and most respected DXers, so this bodes very well for what the newest face on the block will have to offer us in the future. Do be please be aware that much of the original work on this DX was carried out by Gary, Nicky has added the final finishing touches to the layout to get it into a fully releasable state.

The game itself is a surprisingly entertaining little number too, don't be put off by the 2p play £2 jackpot nature of the beast, there's a whole lot of fun to be had here; not least because of the brutal "all or nothing gamble" and the ruthless nudge feature, it's a step back into a bygone era when gambling was cheap(ish), but still strictly for the braver types with substantial gonads.

27th April - Bows and arrows against the lightning.

** NEW RELEASE ** - "HIT THE TOP" CLASSIC - ROM & DAT
** NEW LAYOUT ** - "TOP TENNER" SUPER MEGA SPECIAL DX - Unlocked DAT
** NEW LAYOUT ** - "CASH MACHINE" - TICKLY TALKER DOER DX - Unlocked DAT
** NEW LAYOUT ** - "BANK ROLLER" FISHSTA MOD - Unlocked DAT

Visit Nicky Special's "Too hot for MPU Forums" downloads page and enter a SINISTER WORLD OF EVIL

Hit The Top is a feeble lo-tech I've never seen or played before, probably because it's so basic that it was only ever to be found in Old Peoples Homes so that dying, blind, senile grannies could lose their life's savings before finally shuffling off this mortal coil. Shocked, bereaved children would hold the cold, thin hands of their recently departed and exclaim, "Bollocks, who put Hit The Top next to her bed? I was counting on that inheritance to get the fucking conservatory finished". Then again, it's not without some small measure of charm, the sound package is funky and the main "feature" is reasonably interesting the first few times you get it - until you realise it's just a bit crap.

Still, nice layout from Pete, compact file size, appealing colour scheme, and just enough graphical flair to take it above the "pure" classic look, not that there's anything wrong with pure classics of course, it's just nice to have something prettier to look at occasionally.

Top Tenner DX and Cash Machine DX are the latest releases from Nicky Special, and both are "new" in that they have never been previously released as DXes. The layouts themselves are good, although Top Tenner could use a little more work on some of the lamps, as the on/off contrast isn't really distinct enough. Cash Machine is a cracking good DX all-round though; both are a welcome addition to the DX stable, and a sure sign of some excellent work to come from Nicky Satan's big bag of world destroying layouts.

Finally we have Fishsta's release of a very spooky Bank Roller layout. He's used some weird kind of black fishy magic to implement horizontal reels for the cash stacks, and a card flip system for the hi/lo reel. Apparently his next release will be a modified Everyone's A Winner layout that uses the feature's number spin to predict next week's lottery results. But only if all the numbers are between one and twelve.

** NEW LAYOUT ** - "VIVA ESPANA" SUPER DX - DAT
(An original work with lamp numbers and button assignments taken from the classic layout)

23rd April - Unlock and load.

** NEW MPU3/4 RELEASE ** - "BERSERK" DX - ROM & DX Mod
** NEW JPEM RELEASE ** - "MONOPOLY 60" DX - Combined ROM & DX Mod (5.3mb)
** NEW LAYOUT ** - "ANDY CAPP" CLASSIC PLUS MOD - DAT
** NEW LAYOUT ** - "ANDY CAPP" SUPER DX MOD - DAT
** NEW LAYOUT ** - "ROCKET MONEY" DX - DAT

Berserk is that rarest of beasts, a damn good lo-tech. There are four reasons for this:

1) Theme, artwork, sound and music - all of these disparate elements work together to create a surprisingly urgent and exciting gaming experience.
2) The way that any win can repeat or start a streak, so even a humble £1 win can turn into something special.
3) Munsta's excellent DX, great clarity and superb lamps (I particularly like the Berserk lamps).
4) Tiddly £6 jackpot means that you get lots and lots of jackpots, and multi-jackpot streaks are regular, OK, they might only be worth £20 or £30, but they feel much bigger.

Oh yes, and it's got auto-play too - which I normally hate, but for some reason I quite like putting in £10 worth of credits, hitting auto-play, cranking up the volume and seeing what happens. (All the time trying to ignore the picture of himself that Munsta so kindly added to the layout....).

Monopoly 60 is the first DX layout for the new JPEM emulator (that isn't a typo, the emulator is called "JPEM" - as in J.P.eMulator), and it's a marvellous demonstration of what we can expect in the future.

Unfortunately (for me), I had no end of problems with this one, for a start my PIII-550 didn't really like it much at all, I wasn't able to find a comfortable delay to run it at (so it was terribly slow or suffering from chronic "pause lags"), and it seemed woefully prone to hanging. I gave up after twenty minutes and went back to Berserk. There is an embryonic FAQ taking shape over at JPM Forums, and it seems that these issues are being addressed, or at least recognised - so by all means hop on over and share your experiences (I think the main problem I have is that my PC simply isn't up to spec).

Those issues aside (and many deliriously happy individuals are reporting that it runs like a dream for them, so really, I'm just pissed off that I'm not one of lucky people), the fact that DX layouts are possible with JPEM is a great step forward at such an early stage - and on a wider note, three releases in two days is a marvellous burst of energy for the JPM side of the scene to bear witness to, JPM Forums are off and running, and everything looks set for a vibrant and exciting new branch of fruit machine emulation to establish itself. (And I need to get a new PC).

Andy Capp "Classic Plus" and "Super DX" are the first intriguingly monikered releases from the undisputed mod master, Nicky Special, who's joining us fresh from the Visual Pinball scene where his extensive and skilful mod and backdrop work met with varying degrees of approval and disapproval (note: that is the greatest understatement in the history of the world, ever). The classic layout is a welcome 1024x768 reworking of the Digital Fruit original (the official DF 1024x768 release was, bizarrely, only available for one day exclusively from the DF site), so if you're after a 1024x768 Andy Capp classic this is the only show in town, and it features a hefty splash of colourful, scene setting artwork taken from the original Barcrest flyer.

The "Super DX" is a much improved and enhanced version of the existing DX, again, it features a generous dose of artwork taken from the flyer, and it's also clearer and crisper than the previously released DX (not hosted on this site). File size is a chunky 3.1mb, but the overall quality of the layout makes it well worth bashing the old modem to get hold of, and if you're on broadband - hey, who gives a fuck anyway?

Rocket Money DX has been about for a few days (adventurous, pro-active sorts will have found its entry on the downloads page), but it was somewhat lost in the midst of the excitement surrounding JPEM's launch and this is the first opportunity I've had to do the write up. This is another layout from Dean who, on the quiet, has been churning out a few quality releases without ever really hitting the headlines. This isn't a perfect DX, some of the bulbs are somewhat indistinct, and the streak lamps are all arse about face, but it makes a welcome and colourful change from the rather too "pure white" classic layout.

** NEW JPEM RELEASE ** - "INDIANA JONES" - Combined ROM & layout.
** NEW REVIEW ** - "INDIANA JONES" - Featuring exclusive "Indy Hat Facts"

NOTE - People are reporting a variety of minor problems with the JPM Emulator, please note that this is a BETA release, feedback and bug reporting is encouraged on JPM Forums.

Certain things, like a good documentary about the macro-economics of sub-continental Asia, interest me. Other things, like going on a full-blooded tank rampage in Grand Theft Auto 3, excite me. Some things, like the ten minute free view you can get of Red Hot Amateur every night on Sky Digital, arouse me.

Very few things can do all three at once, but this is one of them. Make sure you're not wearing your best underpants when you load up this release, because they'll be uncomfortably sticky in no time.

This is it people, this is the absolute holy grail of fruit machine emulation, it's here, it works, and you can download it now. THE BEST FRUIT MACHINE EVER is now emulated and available to play on your PC.

JPM aren't quite the awesome force in the world of fruit machines they once were, but there was a time when they mercilessly swept aside all the competition with a contemptuous flick of their stylish Vogue cabinet. Indiana Jones represented JPM at their best, a challenging, entertaining, involving game that had genuine player appeal and can still wipe the floor with anything else out there - but you can read more about that in this review.

The layout is by Digital Fruit, who has emerged as something of a dark horse in all of this, and he is now developing layouts "officially" as part of the emulator team, which has Tony at its head. So one way or another, everything looks extremely promising for the future.....

** NEW EMULATOR RELEASED ** - JPM IMPACT EMULATOR
** NEW RELEASE ** - "ROLLER COASTER"

Download the layout from - here or here or here. (Will be hosted on this site tomorrow).

And don't forget everyone - emulation is good.

There's picking up a fumbled ball and running with it, and then there's Tony Friery (Dial Tone) clutching the JPM Impact Emulator from the jaws of oblivion and giving us this heaven sent piece of code.

This is it people - this is a JPM Impact fruit machine, but on your PC. The first release is Roller Coaster running the £15 ROMs, it's got full sound and music, smooth spinning reels and, ooohhh, it's Roller Coaster! (Which has got to be in the fruit machines all time Top 5). In pure layout terms it's a little on the rough and ready side, but the usual keyboard shortcuts are present and correct, and the options are generally familiar, although understandably not as comprehensive as MPU3/4.

But of course, that doesn't matter. Because it's a JPM fruit machine. On your PC. (Even as I type it it doesn't seem quite real). Massive, huge, gargantuan thanks to Tony for bringing this to us when others decided they couldn't be bothered, and here's hoping that this emulator has a long and glorious life in ahead of it.

I'll be getting a JPM downloads page up and running on this site tomorrow, and will get the Roller Coaster layout up as well, along with a proper write up and some more thoughts on the subject. However, for now, the emulator will only be hosted at the Fruitworkz site.

21st April - I'll protect you.

** NEW RELEASE ** - "LAS VEGAS STRIP" CLASSIC - DAT & ROM
** NEW RELEASE ** - "BUCKS FIZZ" CLASSIC - DAT & ROM
** NEW LAYOUT ** - "ANDY'S GREAT ESCAPE" CLASSIC - DAT

Who says you need DXes to have fun? It's classic frenzy today, and the entertainment factor doesn't suffer one jot as a result.

First up is Las Vegas Strip, a welcome new release from the classic master, Steve Phipps. Las Vegas Strip is the machine Magnificent 7s was cloned from, but Las Vegas Strip is better. (In the same way that Ooh Ahh Dracula is Boulder Dash, but OAD is better, it must be an all round theme, sound and music thing I suppose). Steve's classic is mighty fine, and has a welcome splash of colour along with a few graphical lamps. Proving that 800x600 is all the pixels you need, everything is expertly arranged within the confines of the petite frame.

The game is a little bit harsh for a Barcrest of this era, the feature in particular can be rather brutal, but the frequency with which you're allowed entry compensates for this - and it's just got that certain "something" that keeps you playing an extra fiver, then another extra fiver, and then maybe just another, because it's got to give a jackpot, right? (Personal experience of years gone by has nothing to do with that analysis....).

Next in line is Bucks Fizz, a fine classic layout from Pete Walton (previously responsible for the mighty Take Two), but a release that suffers horribly from being bereft of sound (due to its use of the Yamaha sound chip). For my money, nothing kills the emulation experience quicker than a deafening silence coming forth from one's speakers. This is a great shame, as the game itself is pretty much a straight clone of Fruit Full, which is one of the most entertaining club machines currently implemented in MPU3/4, and Pete's layout is excellent - but as with the MPU3 machines pre V8.73, without sound it's all a bit heartless.....

Finishing things off is Kev and his classic Andy's Great Escape layout - which gives those of you who come out in a nasty rash at the site of a DX a good, solid alternative. A bit like Scottish women.

20th April - ** LAYOUTS UPDATED **
"ANDY'S GREAT ESCAPE" DX - DAT
"BOULDER DASH" CLASSIC - DAT

Andy's Great Escape gets the £10 layout treatment to go with the £10 ROMs it runs. Mike has worked his mysterious Photoshop magic and transformed the original £6 jackpot layout into an entirely convincing £10 jackpot layout. BUT HOW? Anyone would think that computers could mysteriously change things into something they're not. It's terribly sinister - I feel small and scared - see how I tremble.

In other news, Steve has updated his original Boulder Dash layout. Added in are new reel bands, a stylish new hi/lo reel, much reduced file size, a few graphical lamps (very tarty for such a classic puritan, but I quite like the unbridled wantonness of it all), and extra special "Boulder Dash" lamps which flash to let you know that you've got the invincible mode on the feature. Not that you can't tell anyway because it very boringly just lands you on one cash square after another until you get the jackpot (which doesn't repeat).

20th April - You won't get your grubby hands on my gold.

** NEW LAYOUT ** - "ANDY'S BIG TIME" DX - DAT
** NEW LAYOUT ** - "BANK RAID" CLASSIC - DAT
** LAYOUT UPDATED ** - "BANK ROLLER" SP CLASSIC - DAT
** LAYOUT UPDATED ** - "MAGNIFICENT 7s" SP CLASSIC - DAT

Andy Capp fans have cause to celebrate as the perennial slacker is now immortalised in a splendid DX of Andy's Big Time, which represents Mr Capp's foray into the world of club machines. The DX itself is the first release from DJ (known on MPU Forums as Ickle_Moi), and jolly impressive it is too - you've got your skinned buttons, backlit reels, great work on the lamps and the clarity of a flyer based layout. The game is perfectly likeable too, mainly because it's basically Rich And Famous with an extended end feature, and the "top prize" is quite exciting when you get it too, (until it gives you the Nudge Repeater for a pitiful £2 and doesn't repeat - imagine how chuffed you'd be if that happened on the real thing....).

Terry's continuing his excellent work giving us classic layouts for machines there's currently only a DX for. Latest off the production line is Bank Raid; Gary originally did the DX of this last year, but those of you who prefer classics, or whose PCs struggle a bit with lamp slow downs should be well pleased with this release. It's a tidy, clear, attractive classic layout, making good use of the 1024x768 resolution and featuring Terry's usual graphical flourishes such as graduated colouring.

Only major problem with this game is the appalling "This should create a diversion" sample that's played when you get an extra life, and the equally awful "I told you that would do the trick" that's played when you lose it (usually three moves later after landing on a Lose Tunnel and pointless Extra Key square) - I don't know how they got someone to talk in such a voice, and I'm not entirely sure I want to either, but it must have involved something thoroughly unnatural and rather painful with root vegetables and Vaseline.

Finally, Steve's updated a couple of his older releases, both Bank Roller and Magnificent 7s have been given the standard 8.75 tweakings, along with improved reel graphics and a few other brush ups.

19th April - ** NEW RELEASES **
"ANDY'S GREAT ESCAPE" DX - Combined DAT & ROM
"CHANCES UNLIMITED" DX - Combined DAT & ROM
(Note: Chances Unlimited must be played with the door open to prevent alarms).

Two new releases for you today from near opposite ends of the MPU3/4 timescale - but both bringing something special to the party.

Andy's Great Escape is the result of a collaboration between Dean and (I never thought I'd find myself writing this) "Road Hog Mad" (also known as Phil). Road Hog Mad has undergone a root and branch transformation that's nothing short of biblical, and reinvented himself as a useful contributor to the scene - which is a welcome change from psycho wingnut loony tunes barmpot.

Old time MSNers, and to a lesser extent MPU Forums regulars will understand the tawdry Road Hog Mad affair - otherwise, just think along the lines of Hitler turning to Goebbels half way through the Second World War and saying, "You know what Joseph, I think we've got this whole Aryan super race thing completely wrong, and the systematic extermination of the Jews is going to have to stop too, cease spreading your hateful and malevolent propaganda forthwith, tell Himmler to call off the bombers, get the SS to take a chill pill and for fuck's sake let's all just go for a beer. Oh, I'm going to lose the moustache as well, do you think it'll suit me?".

Andy's Great Escape is a fine release (I won't say much about the actual game because I quite fancy doing a proper review for it), Dean's done a spanking job on the DX, backlit reels, skinned buttons, good clarity and definition, generally excellent work on the lamps. Only minor issue is that a £6 jackpot is indicated on the layout, but the £10 ROMs are being used. An updated version is on the way (new bitmap courtesy of Mike's Photoshop wizardry), but in the meantime it seems a terrible shame to hold back such a splendid new release for such a trivial reason. So I won't. (I will put the revised version up as soon as it's ready though).

Next up is Chances Unlimited, another SPAWN OF SATAN MPU3 release courtesy of FruitWorkz.

You know that Bill Hicks sketch where he gets all upset about teenage boy bands being worthless corporate whores? The one where he ends up screaming "SUCK SATAN'S COCK" and generally becoming rather cross? Well I found myself screaming it at this game as it shafted me again and again and AGAIN, (honestly, I was sat in front of my monitor on a balmy Friday afternoon, utterly ignoring the fantastic weather, hunched in front of my monitor telling an emulated MPU3 machine to suck Satan's cock. I'm not proud of it).

Let's get the good stuff out of the way first, Mike has done an undeniably sublime job with the graphical recreation of the original machine. Technically this is a pseudo-DX but it's so damn good it deserves the genuine DX tag. He's liased with certified MPU3 nut Andy on the appearance and gameplay, and then painstakingly recreated the layout of the machine, by hand, in Photoshop, building on Andy's original sterling work in putting together a (never released) classic layout. It's a quite remarkable endeavour, and proves that as long as these old machines stay alive in our heads, all it takes is commitment and dedication to bring them to our PC screens.

I don't know when this machine first appeared, but I'm guessing early eighties, and back then 10p was quite a lot of money to the average gambling scally (it would get you a game on Space Invaders which could last for ages if you were good). So quite how the average gambling urchin managed to finance a Chances Unlimited habit I really don't know, but I'm speculating that the explosion in violent street crime we witnessed in the eighties had a lot more to do with people playing Chances Unlimited than it did heroin addiction.

How can you win on this machine? How? It takes a fortune before it will let you gamble to any decent amount of cash or nudges, and then as soon as you collect anything much past 50p it goes back on the take and pokes you up the ass with its Satan Stick a bit more. Forcing out unlimited nudges or the jackpot is not for the faint hearted, and as for exchanging for the "Super Series"....

You want to know how Enron went bust? Well I'll tell you. It had fuck all to do with bent auditors and thieving bastard directors, and everything to do with the accountants saying to each other one day, "Hey, cool, we've made fifty billion dollars profit in the last year, I reckon we can't go too far wrong if we exchange it for the super series on Chances Unlimited, it'd have be worth something vaguely approaching our stake, right?. OK then, here goes!...... Oh, fuck me, we got three lots of 10p, three cherries for 30p, and two plums for 20p. Bollocks, we're bust."

Just look at the Chances Unlimited screenshot below, "PLEASE FEED ME" - you know what that means, don't you? I'm thinking of Satan and his devilish appendage.......

17th April - MPU3 SAS TAKES ON PIRIE. PIRIE SAYS; "I FECKIN OWNZ".

** NEW RELEASE ** - "WIN STRIKE" CLASSIC - ROM & DAT
** NEW LAYOUT ** - "EVERYONE'S A WINNER" PSEUDO-DX - DAT

In the blue corner.... Dedicated to general oldness, crustiness and funny noises, weighing in at a mighty thirty melons and twenty triple bars, and wearing the (disturbingly Windows default desktop) blue shorts - the MPU3 SAS!

And in the other blue corner (maybe I should have put two tables together and made one blue and one red to try and get into the spirit of the thing but it'll just have to do)..... The dancing teeny girl fancier, weighing in at a feather light ten red crabs and four blue crabs (take a look at the screenshot) - the Bristol Basher.... Little Russ!

You pays your money and you takes your choice, old school MPU3 fun (2p play £1.50 jackpot) and a classy little layout to boot, or in your face MPU4 brashness, complete with Pirie style graphics (very good) and, bizarrely, crabs (I think he's got a whole beach theme going on for this one).

Then again, you could just download both and completely avoid having to make such an agonising choice at all. Win Strike has got that certain "solidity" that so many MPU3 games seem possessed of, and for some utterly unfathomable reason there's a curious excitement attached to finally managing to land the £1.50 jackpot, possibly something to do with fruities being more appealing when they're FUN instead of just relying on dangling bigger jackpots in front of the player? And erm, so not that unfathomable then. Twat.

Everyone's A Winner is a relatively good lo-tech, because it has proper features and streaks and that sort of thing (although I was distinctly unimpressed with getting a mere £4 off the, ahem, "Gold Series"). I've reached the conclusion that "individual interpretation" pseudo-DXs are jolly nice when you've never actually seen the real machine, as the pseudo-DX can fill the void where one's mind would usually store an image or memory. They work less well when you do know the real machine, as they then make an insidious and unwelcome attempt to replace one's genuine recollections. A bit like the Borg in some ways. Perhaps. (He said, desperately searching for a conclusion to a rambling paragraph and drawing inspiration (such as it isn't) from the fact that Star Trek : The Next Generation has just started on BBC2).

An in-depth look (by my standards at least) at the proliferation of MPU3/4 and fruity emulation websites that have popped up all over the internet in the last few weeks. Latest estimates suggest that an area of cyberspace the size of Manchester is now taken up with fruity related material. Tony Blair recently confirmed, "I don't even know what Manchester is, let alone cyberspace".

15th April - Making old stuff new again!

** NEW LAYOUT ** - "SUNSET BOULEVARD" DX - DAT
** NEW LAYOUT ** - "EUREKA" CLASSIC - DAT (new and improved)
** NEW LAYOUT ** - "BANK ROLLER" 1280x1024 CLASSIC - DAT
** NEW LAYOUT ** - "TEN OUT OF TEN" CLASSIC - DAT (Steve Phipps style)

Kev's Sunset Boulevard DX kicks things off today, this is one of the older machines to have a DX layout created for it (the original machine surfaced in 1991), and as such it's good to see a piece of history immortalised in this fashion. The machine itself is actually one of the better lo-techs (although it's nowhere near as good as the machine it desperately wants to be, 777 Heaven), the relatively low prizes mean that wins and features are regular, as are repeats and other little twiddly things. The DX is of a very high quality, and every bit as good as we've come to expect from Kev.

Terry's classic Eureka layout replaces the existing classic layout (on this site at least), it's well designed, functional, and features the trademark graduated Terry colours. Eureka is a game that does suffer a little from lamp slow down in DX form, so the classic layout is a viable alternative for those of you who like your emulation pure and to the point.

Bank Roller is Deejay's first foray into the world of design, and it's a bit of a controversial one too (as far as these things go). You'll need a desktop resolution of at least 1280x1024 to get this one running properly, so those with 15 inch monitors probably need not apply. However, for those of you who are well endowed in the pixel department this is a fine update to the original 800x600 release. Along with the addition of backlit reels, a couple of non-essential lamps missing from the original have been added, on top of that the "note stacks" are now much more authentic - featuring cute little bundles of cash instead of numbers and blobs.

Finally, Steve's released his own classic Ten Out Of Ten layout, not a whole lot to choose between this and DF's original to be honest, so it's very much going to be an individual taste thing.

14th April - Are you sitting comfortably?
(This entry will be archived out on the "Articles & Info" page).

Forget sex, forget drugs, forget rock 'n roll, in a short while they'll all be obsolete. Why? Because someone's only gone and written a JPM Impact emulator! (Think Roller Coaster, think Indiana Jones, think Monopoly, think.... oohhhh, just about all the best fruit machines ever made!).

This momentous development started off as a typical "I have written an alpha version of a JPM emulator" thread on MPU Forums, and was immediately met with countless calls of "Yeah OK, now go and get me the moon on a stick" (not by yours truly though, I'm a trusting sort of chap). However, it very quickly started to become apparent to all that this was no hoax, Dial Tone got involved and he and Glasnost (the emulator's author) had a bit of a techie natter about it and the end result was the WIP shot shown below. (The picture of the real Monopoly 60 machine below that is just to get you all frothing nicely at the gash).

Elements of JPM's "Impact" hardware system (which they have used for years and years and indeed, still do, albeit in a newer and unemulated form) have been implemented in the MAME source code for years, so the hope must be that this emulator will achieve a high level of functionality "out of the box", (sound support? Let's hope so....).

Talk is of a release happening in the near future (so all of you get ready to throw a sicky from work on the day it happens), and you can rest assured that this forward looking "Fruit Machine Emulation" site will keep you up to date with developments as they happen, what the other "MPU" sites are going to do I don't know.... (he said smugly, and in the spirit of jest before anyone goes and gets uppity about it). Apparently something's already underway at MPU World to accommodate this change in the scene, and I'm sure the other main sites will follow suit shortly.

As and when a release happens I'll create a new "JPM DOWNLOADS" page and rename the existing downloads page to "MPU DOWNLOADS", although there is no news yet on how the layouts will be distributed, and of course, we've yet to see what JPM's reaction is going to be, particularly with regard to the ROMs, without which any emulator is just so many 1s and 0s.

The history of the fruit machine emulation scene to date has shown that emulation is NOT a destructive force that will bring about the end of the world with a hefty dose of pestilence and famine thrown in for good measure. Indeed, Empire have embraced the phenomenon and made ROMs, flyers and other artwork for their older machines available from their web site. Barcrest and the other companies whose machines are emulated by MPU3/4 have done more than we could have ever asked for, they have left us alone. MPU3/4 emulates old machines that are now of little or no commercial value, but it helps to bring about a current awareness of and interest in fruit machines, along with an affinity with the Barcrest/Empire/Whatever brand.

My feelings about fruit machine emulation have been sounded out many times before (here and here for example), and you can read a few thoughts about emulation in general here (penned by top games journo Stuart Campbell); in a nutshell, emulation is good for everyone. For games companies (or fruit machine manufacturers) it's a true free lunch, free publicity, free brand awareness, free product placement, free "customer feel good" points ("Hey Barcrest and Empire are really cool, they allow emulation of their old machines to continue unimpeded").

An emulator is a wonderful showcase for a company's products, hardware, games and history - and it doesn't cost them a penny. Beyond that of course, the argument has to be that having experienced some of the finest fruit machines ever made via a JPM Emulator, the emulator player will go on to become a "real" fruit machine player, be it the old classics that can still be found in some arcades or the very latest JPMs in their local pub. More money in JPM machines' cashboxes equals more operators looking to purchase JPM machines next time they go shopping.

JPM are responsible for some of the very best fruit machines ever built, my personal all time "greatest" is a JPM, the mighty Indiana Jones fruit machine. A new generation of gamers having the opportunity to play some of these classic JPMs should not only excite us, it should excite JPM as well - because you absolutely cannot buy this sort of positive publicity and customer interest.

Obviously some kind of self-imposed restriction on which machines are implemented and released for the JPM Emulator will have to take place (no games less than three years old, or five years old, or whatever) - but these matters aside, there's really no reason why a JPM Emulator can't have the same sort of beneficial impact (wahay, shite pun!) on everyone that MPU3/4 did.

** NEW RELEASE ** - "RUN FOR YOUR MONEY" CLASSIC - DAT & ROM
** LAYOUT UPDATED ** - "LUXOR" CLASSIC - DAT (official Steve Phipps release)
** LAYOUT UPDATED ** - "FRUIT FULL" CLASSIC - DAT (official Steve Phipps release)

One new release and two re-releases from Steve today. The re-releases are the long awaited official versions of Steve's layouts for Luxor and Fruit Full. The Luxor layout has changed considerably from its original appearance, and now sports a more authentic square feature board, along with some funky new two-colour lamps on the maze squares, which are very clever indeed, (ask them a question, they nearly always get the answer right). Of all the Luxor layouts now available this is probably my favourite (including the pseudo-DXs), I'm just an old Luddite at heart.....

Fruit Full is a clunky old Barcrest club machine, although there are plenty of features and bonuses to keep it interesting. As with most club machines, it's one I've never seen or played in the wild, but Steve's layout certainly makes it playable enough, and it's a gentle reminder of times gone by.

Top story of the day (so obviously I've gone and put it last) is the release of Run For Your Money. This is a great Barcrest from the early 90s (I'm guessing 1994), and whilst there's nothing singularly amazing about it I always liked playing it in the pub and it still floats my boat in MPU3/4 (I put over £500 through it last night). The main attractions are probably the three-ring feature board (which is sort of pinched from the earlier Electrocoin machine Labyrinth but we'll ignore that for now....) and the long hi/lo climb, everything else is standard issue Barcrest material - although that isn't necessarily a wholly bad thing.

The "top" feature is one of the most inconsistent and infuriating ever conceived, you play all three feature rings at the same time, with every move on each ring adding to the win pot - obviously you'd expect this to be worth a good few quid, but the reality is that it's usually worth no more and no less than any of the other feature entry points (one for each ring and a "random" ring entry). In fact, you can (and probably will) sometimes get nothing, yep, ZERO off the top feature. You'll make a few moves and get the pot up to about £4, then you'll land on a "Clean Out" square, then the next spin will be a "Stop", then the feature won't repeat. End result? Congratulations! You have won absolutely fuck all off RFYM's top feature!

So why do I like it? Oohhh I dunno, it's fast and fun, somehow it feels more like an old school JPM machine than a Barcrest (although if you analyse it closely it's nothing of the sort), the hi/lo climb can be quite exciting, there's a touch of strategy in using the bonus, there are a few little tricks you can pull, and when it streaks it's a proper old fashioned streak, an insane whirlwind of mid-size wins and a barrel load of repeats on the main Money Money Money feature - none of this "jackpot repeats three times streak over bye bye thank you come again" bollocks that passes for the "big one" these days.

Steve's layout is fantastic, and does the classic layout's cause a great deal of good. RFYM is a very lamp intensive game, but the clean, simple classic format means that it never suffers from any slow down; all those tiny cash values square are crystal clear, and the overall feel of the layout is very close to that of the original machine. It's a textbook example of how a well designed, professional layout can really give the whole emulation experience a tremendous boost.

Niggles? Just the one, RFYM started out its life as a £6 token jackpot machine, the ROMs here are the £10 cash JP ROMs, which doesn't play quite as good a game as the £6 version did, and the top feature's awards are (as you'll soon discover for yourself) still geared very much towards a £6 JP. The win pot will very rarely get above £6, even when it's streaking, and somehow it just doesn't feel as good to keep getting £5 off the feature when there's a £10 jackpot, whereas with the £6 jackpot you would be getting "near jackpots" quite regularly.

10th April - Can you do the fandango?

** NEW RELEASE ** - "RICH AND FAMOUS" CLASSIC - DAT & ROM
** NEW LAYOUT ** - "LUXOR" PSEUDO-DX - DAT
** NEW LAYOUT ** - "LUXOR" CLASSIC (6.5+ fixed) - DAT
** NEW LAYOUT - "TREASURE TRAIL" SP CLASSIC - DAT
** NEW LAYOUT ** - "GOLDEN GATE" DX - DAT

Big up in the house for the Phippmeister! Steve's latest release is Rich And Famous, a sort of pseudo-clone of Winner Takes All, but better, because it's got a proper skill cash feature which you can get the jackpot on if you're good. Other than that, typical Barcrest machine of the era, in that it gives you pretty much exactly what it wants to, when it wants to. (Try hitting "miss" on the snooker game and watch it jump to "hit" if it requires that you win). It's not quite as psycho-nutcase as Winner Takes All, and gives many more collect prizes (in the form of snooker, the races, or darts), it's also considerably harder to force out the "top" (cough) "Lottery Time" feature, which delights in giving you the £4 repeater and not repeating - which is an offensively feeble reward for all the effort it can take to get there.

Steve's layout is, as always, top class, everything is neatly arranged in an 800x600 frame, minimal fanciness, maximum functionality, tiny file size - a joy to play.

Next up are two new Luxor layouts; Tsi's pseudo-DX is one of the best yet seen, and features special large reels for the sight impaired. By cunningly sticking the (huge) reels out on the left hand side he's left a whopping great chunk of the layout space available for the feature board, and by using the kind of artistic talent about which I sometimes have sordid, tawdry wet dreams, (where I know what "mezzotint layer pixellation" actually is before I apply it), he has created a pseudo-DX that really looks the business. The tri-colour maze squares are particularly good, and so is the way that the feature squares "glow", hey brother, it's all good!

At the other end of the scale, (in fanciness terms, not overall quality terms), is Looker's classic Luxor layout, Steve's original Luxor layout has never been fixed to work in any version of MPU3/4 other than V6.0, and Looker's excellent classic offers the clarity and functionality that you MPU3/4 puritans out there so desire. (And with good reason too, a simple classic layout is still arguably one of the best mediums for the enjoyment of the emulation experience).

Finally we have a DX Mod for Golden Gate, this is another one of those Dutch machines that all appear to be remarkably similar but which are, I am reliably informed, all subtly and intriguingly different. Ruud Van Barcrest, the celebrity Dutch Webmaster, had this to say about it; "It's great, and entirely unlike any other Dutch fruit machine!".

MPU3/4 is, obviously, quite one of the fabbiest, funkiest chunks of code in the whole world. However, there is one very significant thing that it simply cannot do, however much we might like it to. What's that? Why, emulate fruit machines that don't use the MPU3 or MPU4 hardware system, of course. (Although judging by the sheer volume of questions asked about the subject on MPU Forums, "Is Simpsons emulated? Where can I download it from?....", you'd think that one might be able conjure up Maygay Epoch system compatibility by simple virtue of asking about it, like, ONE MILLION FUCKING TIMES. Honestly, it's like the F.A.Q. never happened.....).

Anyway, moving on, what do we have here? Why, it's only an alpha release of a Bellfruit (BFM) Scorpion 1 emulator! BFM used the Scorpion 1 hardware system from the late 80s to the early 90s (if anyone can furnish me with exact dates I'd appreciate it), and a great number of their classics appeared during this era; Cops 'N Robbers (the original one which was actually very good), Only Fools And Horses (home of the "millionaires" sample), Club Temptation, Cat & Mouse, Del's Millions and many, many more.

Now, before you start getting too excited be aware that this is an early alpha release of the emulator and there is a horrible shortage of ROMs at the moment (there's only one currently available and it's Dutch), it's going to be a while before this starts to look anything like a second MPU3/4, but the salient point here is that there is now a working emulator for another fruit machine manufacturer's hardware system. That means it's only a matter of time, all it needs now is patience, and for those who can help the project in some way to do so.

A website has already been established at http://www.laj-design.com/scorpion/index.php, where you can upload ROMs, reel images and flyers, as well as download the emulator itself and the single ROM that's currently available. A Scorpion 1 forum has been established at MPU Forums, where the author of this new emulator, (known as Re-Animator, cool name, cool avatar, cool emulator, add him to your Christmas card list), is already a regular poster, and you can also see a couple of screenshots of the emulator up and running, as well as get some in-depth information on the technical ins out outs of the project as a whole.

I'll start carrying the emulator on this site as and when it enters something approaching a recognisable beta phase, but in the meantime I will keep you up to date with all significant developments as and when they happen.

On a final note, the importance this development has for the fruit machine emulation scene cannot be underestimated. To date, and for obvious reasons, MPU3/4 has, in many ways, been the entire fruit machine emulation scene. In reality of course, it runs much, much deeper than that. There are numerous other hardware systems out there waiting for someone to take them on, ROMs waiting to be dumped, images for DX layouts waiting to be grabbed, flyers waiting to be scanned, the whole MPU3/4 experience played out again and again until every fruit machine hardware system and its games are emulated and available to you, the emulation fans. It may seem like a pipe dream, but think about it, this time last year how many of you seriously thought (or even dared to hope) that you'd soon be playing fruit machines again which you last saw fifteen years ago? How many of you thought there would ever be such a thing as MPU3/4? One hundred and twenty (that's what it's up to now) old fruit machines are now playable on a fruit machine emulator on your PC, via superb classic layouts, the awesome DX Mods and, needless to say, the wonder that is MPU3/4 itself.

But what about all those other hardware systems out there? The hundreds of other old fruit machines we all remember?

8th April - With special guest Webmaster, Ruud Van Barcrest!

** NEW RELEASE ** - "OLD TIMER" DX - DAT & ROM
** NEW LAYOUT ** - "TREASURE TRAIL" CLASSIC - DAT
** LAYOUT UPDATED ** - "JOLLY GEMS" DX - DAT

Hello and welkom to my Nederlandse MPU34 site! My name is Ruud Van Barcrest and there is a picture of me and my lovely Dutch family to the left of this text. You can also see a picture of my favourite pair of clogs, I call them my "Emulatie Clogs", because I wear them when I am smoking cannabis and playing MPU3/4.

Today I have news of some very exciting fruitautomaten releases! When I am not watching explicit hardcore pornography, I like nothing more than to put on my "Emulatie Clogs" (did I tell you about them already?) and play MPU3/4.

There is a new Dutch release today called "Old Timer", obviously this is exactly the same as every other Dutch fruit machine ever built, but that is OK because it gives me more time to admire my "Emulatie Clogs". They are fun and wooden!

There is also a release of a classic layout for Treasure Trail, which is from a country called England, where they do not have drugs (apart from tobacco and alcohol) and pornography is not allowed except on Channel 5, and sometimes on BBC2 late at night.

Also, the Jolly Gems DX layout has been updated, I have Jolly Gems all the time, but that is only because I get to see so much wonderful pornography! My favourite is the "Seventeen" series, it is populaire here in Holland!

Bye bye for now - I love you all! And don't forget to look at the new Dutch MPU3/4 website at http://fruitautomaten.orbitjam.com/

7th April - HARDCORE DUTCH ACTION!
** NEW RELEASES **
"TAKE TWO" CLASSIC - ROM & DAT
"HOLD TIMER" DX - Combined ROM & DX Mod
"JPM CLASSIC" DX - Combined ROM & DX Mod (uses Old Timer ROM)
"GOLDEN GATE" CLASSIC - ROM & DAT

"Don't be silly Alex!", you might be mumbling to yourself, if you're really short of people to talk to or just generally get on better with your PC than you do with the rest of humanity. "You will keep on telling us about these new Dutch machines being released for MPU3/4 but really, they're all the same thing, why are you so set on pursuing this course of devious and underhand trickery?".

Well fear not chums, for I would not inflict such cruelty on you. But the Dutch aren't quite so lucky, because it appears that Barcrest, and every other fruity manufacturer, are quite happy to release one machine after the other, which, apart from their names, are all exactly the same. In fact, so much is this the case that one of the machines pictured below "JPM Classic" can run quite comfortably and accurately using the Barcrest ROM from a machine called "Old Timer" (JPM's hardware system not currently being emulated). Still, if you like consistency and continuity in your life, get into Dutch fruit machines. It's not that there's anything actually wrong with them as such, they're just a bit, you know.... samey.

Release of the day has to be Take Two, a fantastic Barcrest machine from around 1990. 20p play with a £4.80 jackpot, it's a supremely playable and challenging machine. Unfortunately, the ROM emulated here is V1.2, machines running earlier ROMs could be emptied if the player was very, very good at the second feature up, Skill Cash. This version of the software will let you climb to £2.40 + repeat chance if it's ready (and you'll still have to be very good), but it will also cheat when it needs to. The earlier chips never cheated, and by using a "wedging" technique the skilful player was able to climb to £2.40 + repeat chance every single time he got the feature. This is one of the first machines I played a great deal, back when I started going to the pub in 1990 (sneaking in and lurking in corners as I was underage at the time). I was never one of the players good enough at Skill Cash to get the £2.40+rep every time, although now I know about the cheating rechips I have decided that that's the reason I could never do it, not because I just wasn't up to scratch.

This is the first release from a new layout designer, Pete Walton, and it's an excellent classic layout. Bright, clear, and pleasantly chunky, nothing too fancy about it, but with classics it's all about the layout not getting in the way of the gameplay, and that's certainly the case here. A fine first release, and hopefully the sign of more to come from a promising new talent.

5th April - DUTCH FRENZY!
** NEW RELEASE ** - "STEP TIMER" DX - DAT & ROM
** NEW LAYOUT ** - "EXCHANGES UNLIMITED" DX - DX Mod

Dutch Frenzy? "What might that be?", you almost certainly aren't asking yourselves. Nope, it's not the name of my favourite video, well actually it is, but it's also a rather feeble effort to introduce a lame porn gag into today's release notes, because Step Timer is the second Dutch machine to be implemented in MPU3/4. Let's start again, shall we?

Step Timer is, as far as I can tell, remarkably similar to the previously released Dutch machine, Twin Timer. Which means, if nothing else, that at least us Brits aren't the only race who have to suffer the indignity of having numerous crappy fruit machine clones foisted upon us. Then again, if you had the ready access to cheap drugs and high quality porn that the Dutch do, you'd hardly be likely to give a fuck about fruit machines anyway, would you?

This is another release from Patrick (he also brought us Twin Timer), one of the many people from foreign shores who's taking an interest in this scene (catch up with them over at MPU Forums, specifically on the new "International Machines" forum). Please note that it's set to a rather torturous resolution, so unless your desktop's packing something in the region of 1280x1024 you'll find that you're missing a chunk of the layout (vertically the layout measures 800 pixels, and by the time you add in MPU3/4's menu and stats bars you'll need a fair bit more than that).

Exchanges Unlimited DX is a fine release from the "MPU3 SAS", presumably they were passed over for enrolment in the force currently fighting in the torturous mountain terrain of Afghanistan, and have decided instead to settle down to the rather more peaceful life of MPU3/4 layout designers. The layout may be good, but the machine is pure evil, as you can see from the screenshot below, from a factory reset it took me £35.50p to force out unlimited nudges for a £3 jackpot. I did get unlimited nudges at the £26 mark but stuffed it up and got 20p, and it took an extra £9 to get another shot at it. Quite how this is possible (is it even legal??) I really don't know, but it's the first MPU3/4 game that's had me banging my keyboard seriously hard in frustration (why do we risk breaking the things we need in an effort to demonstrate our anger to entirely inanimate objects?). Do note that the "Out" meter doesn't work on this layout, so the stats below aren't quite as scandalous as they appear, as I probably had something in the region of £3 or £4 out in 10p consolation prizes that isn't shown in the screenshot.

Then again, even if you say that I'd had a jackpot chance at £26, and had got £3 out by that point, the machine still made a net profit of £23 to force a £3 jackpot, therefore the stake was 700% of the eventual prize. In modern terms that would mean a £15 machine taking £120 to force a jackpot out, oh, hang on....... I've heard of psycho chip Addam's Family and Battle Axe machines doing just that very thing. Plus ca change huh?

4th April - ** NEW LAYOUTS **
"THE GAMBLER" CLASSIC - DAT
"BIG APPLE" ALTERNATIVE CLASSIC - DAT

Please extend a warm Hovel welcome (it's pretty much like a normal welcome but a little more squalid) to the scene's newest layout creator, Terry. He's been working on creating a layout since the days of MERC, and just when he thought he'd cracked it along came V8.73 of MPU3/4, the extra features offered by the new version of MPU3/4 and the discontinuation of MERC meant that Terry (and he wasn't alone on the scene in this) had to get to grips with MPU3/4's own development tools. These are tremendously powerful and capable, but can also prove somewhat impenetrable to the novice layout designer.

None the less, Terry has persevered and come up with two excellent first releases. The classic layout for The Gambler will be a welcome sight to those whose monitors can't handle the 1024x768 resolution required by the DX, or who just prefer the faster, "cleaner" play offered by a classic layout. It's also a particularly good classic layout, with excellent use of graduated colours and everything snugly incorporated into the 800x600 resolution. As for Big Apple, I make no secret of the fact that I think it's one of the most appalling fruit machines ever inflicted upon humanity, but Terry's clear, colourful layout makes it almost tolerable. Almost, but not quite. (If we had sound ROMs it'd probably manage to enter the realms of the playable).

Here's hoping that Terry has more layouts like these up his sleeves (or any other of you budding layout designers for that matter). Classic layouts for machines for which there's currently only a DX available are probably the best bet, as these will fill a gap in the market.

2nd April - ** NEW LAYOUTS ** from Stu and young Master Pirie.
"LUXOR" PSEUDO-DX - DAT
"CASH MATRIX" PSEUDO-DX - DAT

Two new pseudos for you today; Stu has conjured up a jolly nice looking Luxor layout, and Russ has been keeping himself busy with his Cash Matrix layout. Both have a very individual style, and both bring a welcome splash of colour and life to two machines for which we only have classic layouts at the moment.

The lamp problems that afflict Luxor in every version of MPU3/4 apart from V6.0 have been fixed in the pseudo layout, (I'm not entirely sure how though), which makes it worth the entry fee alone (and there isn't an entry fee anyway, which makes it even better). Russ' Cash Matrix layout reminds me a bit of Temple Of Treasure (the block of features in the top centre with cash/feature trails up either side), although the illusion is shattered when you realise that Cash Matrix isn't capable of the same sort of nefarious evil as Temple Of Treasure, like taking £60 over the back in 20 minutes and STILL not offering a fucking red TOT feature. Bastard.

Sorry, I've gone and got all cross again. Must take medication and lie down for a while.....

1st April - ** NEW LAYOUT ** - "MAGNIFICENT 7s" DX - DX Mod by Kev.
Review - (of original classic release, so you may well have already read it).

As it's a Bank Holiday Monday it is, of course, pissing it down. And as I'm on the Isle Of Man (think olde worlde type place), all the shops are shut too. However, I have been spared from enduring the onerous drudgery of mooching around the house and knocking together some sort of pointless April Fool's "release" of King Kebab by King Kev, and his rather timely release of Magnificent 7s DX.

Already one of my favoured MPU3/4 games (see the review linked to above), this tremendous DX brings it to life in a whole new way. Think of the classic layout as Frankenstein, ostensibly "alive" but generally rather grey and not overly gratifying to look at, and think of this DX as Britney Spears, obviously an artificial interpretation of a genuine entity, but still able to cause a bit of stirring down below. Or is that just me?

Image source appears to be a flyer, and the new "lamp mode" feature in MPU3/4 has been used to tremendous effect, this layout has a lot of tiddly little lamps, but they all appear clear and well-defined. Of particular note is the manner in which the mystery and bonus awards lamps are lit "properly" (as you can in the screenshot below). Traditionally these sorts of "hidden" lamps have not really "lit" at all, but overlaid (and rather false looking) text has been used instead. It's not a huge thing, but it does contribute to the overall authenticity of the layout, backlit reels and skinned buttons also play their part, and the sum total is an absolutely cracking DX of a fine machine; and I won't stop banging on about this until everybody accepts that I am completely and totally correct in my assertion that the type of top feature used by this machine is absolutely the best there is.

Kev also made mention in his release notes of help provided by Tony (DialTone) on the finer points of the successful implementation of lamp mode, and Gary chipped in with the resized alphanumeric display (which fits this layout perfectly). So all told, a great team effort results in the release of a superb new DX layout. Isn't it nice when that sort of thing happens on a scene!......