15th April 2002 - Fruit Machine Emulation sites round up.

The links page has just had a major update, and by my reckoning there are now fourteen fruit machine emulation sites, fifteen including this one, and seventeen if you include MPU Forums and JPM Forums.

Now then, that's a lot of sites by any standard (most notably the well known "International Fruit Machine Site Proliferation Standard"), especially for what is still a relatively small scene. It's a mark of the enthusiasm and commitment that fruit machine emulation stirs in peoples loins that so many sites have sprung up, but are they any good?

Let's find out, shall we?

Analogue Vegetable : Despite featuring a proliferation of banners and pop-ups that would make even this site blush, along with a charming "RunTime Error" on every page - the AV site still has it where it counts, content. Yep, this site contains lots of words strung together in comprehendible sentences that are actually worth reading, and there's even a dollop of humour in there too (note: funny=good). Best of all is an up and coming "layout designers' handbook" penned by Munsta - a work of not inconsiderable proportions that will be a bonus to the whole scene. Not yet available on the main site, but you can catch a WIP here.

Design is simple but functional, not too graphics heavy, not too painful on a 56k modem, and quite right too, let the words do the talking, pretty pictures belong in art galleries. Add it to your fruity favourites, this is one of the best MPU3/4 sites out there.

Bellfruit Scorpion Emulator : A no-frills site dedicated to the up and coming BFM Scorpion hardware emulator. A little low on content, although this is perfectly understandable considering that the emulator is still in its early stages and there aren't any released games. Site design is clean, quick, and easy to navigate - and what content there is at the moment is lucid and well written. One to keep an eye on.

DX'CELLENT : Guess who got a copy of Flash for their birthday? (Actually, I think this is a "Swish" site but it's the same sort of thing). Fair's fair though, once the (admittedly rather funky) intro is out of the way the main site is well designed, regularly updated, and written in a warm, friendly style that's instantly appealing. Hosts every released layout, and all recent developments are cheerfully reported on the front page. One of the newer sites to emerge, but already establishing itself as one of the best - we'll just have to hope that its author, Pook, can keep up the momentum as the days and weeks pass by and the novelty of having a website to look after wears off.....

Fishsta's Site : Not a true fruity site, but it does contain an MPU3/4 page where Fishsta chats about his releases and other matters fruity related. Plus there are a few pictures of nice girls if you have a look around too. The overall design is, shall we say, "enthusiastic" at best, but when you've got well written, inclusive material to browse through it really doesn't matter.

Fruity Flyers : It certainly started out with the best of intentions, but if ever a site needed an update, this is it. Last altered back in February, and currently only offering a bunch of flyers that were being chucked about at the 2002 ATEI show, Fruity Flyers desperately needs someone to spend a bit of time on bringing it up to date. Many flyers have been bandied about on MPU Forums in recent weeks, yet none of them seem to have found their way to this site yet. It's well designed and easy to navigate, but then again, with only two pages, it would be.....

Fruit Machine DX Screenshots : A fairly new site, so one that deserves to be given a little time to mature. In the meantime, the idea is simple and to the point, a one-stop shop for screenshots of DX layouts released for MPU3/4, a service not currently offered by any other site. Does exactly what it says on the tin, quick to load, easy to navigate, but obviously rather limited. Completely misses the point of emulation on its home page though, "The reason why I am only doing DX screenshots is because the classic layouts are only basic looking and they don't do the emulator justice", now call me a fuckwit, but emulation's about the game, isn't it?

Fruit Machine Jackpot Music : Kev's clearly been spending far too much time being an inactive forums moderator (in-joke from the forums) to keep this site up to date, but it's still quite cool in its own little way. Pretty much as simple as it sounds, this cosy little site offers a whole load of MP3s to listen to, MP3s of the jackpot tunes from various fruit machines, to be precise. Yes, it sounds totally pointless if not downright stupid, but it's also rather odd, once you've clicked on a couple you somehow find yourself working your way down the whole list. That said, once you've gone through the lot the site has exhausted its use, and since it's not been updated since January there isn't much incentive to go back. Think of it as a one-hit wonder, a bit like Princess Di's Mercedes (sorry, that's the best I could do).

Fruit Machine Project : Pop-ups and RunTime Errors abound, but what else would we expect from dear little Russ? You see, Russ has gone and built his own fruit machine for a GCSE project (as he insisted on telling us all at least fifty times when he first arrived on MSN), he's also a LUCKY LITTLE BASTARD because he's got loads of real fruit machines and video games in his bedroom. There isn't really a great deal to look at here, and it appears never to be updated, but it's certainly worth visiting at least once, if not just to get that unique Pirie experience. Rumour has it that there's a top secret "web's youngest girls" page on there too, but I can't find it.

Fruit Machine World : Desperately needs to be more regularly updated, not least because what's on there at the moment is actually very good. No particular direction or definition to the site, it just seems to deal with emulation and real fruit machines as the author fancies - downloads are both out of date and limited, and the whole thing doesn't really quite seem to know what it's all there for. All that said, there's still a good chunk of genuinely worthwhile content and some interesting, humorous, edgy writing to work through; "Don't arcades just annoy you? Lets not beat around the bush here, the combination of the crooks that run the places (usually thick as pig shit) and the scum that hang around desperately trying to scrape £1 for a £5JP machine are both equally deserving of each other". Maybe it's just me, but I like that sort of thing......

Fruitworkz : A bit all over the place this one. No consistent theme or style, nothing more than a vague nod in the direction of correct use of the English language, a couple of dead links (try "Q&A"), very little that's actually worth reading, and it doesn't even seem to carry all the Fruitworkz releases. And call me a whinging old twat (go on, you know you want to), but text along the lines of "Please do not inundate us with non-essential E-Mails as this will hinder the timing of our next release. Also, we will not answer requests for Dev Tools, ROMS, information or unreleased layouts" seems terribly arrogant. Like, it takes so long to not bother to reply to an e-mail that a release will get delayed?...... (And "information" is a bit of a broad category to completely ignore, isn't it?).

MPU 34 Emu : Gary's site keeps pretty much up to date with nearly all new releases, but not much else. Very little in the way of genuine content, and a badly out of date downloads page, but it does carry four hundred reel images that Gary has painstakingly arranged and uploaded, although unless you scrolled to the very bottom of the main page you wouldn't even know about them. In all fairness, Gary's had a few other things on his plate recently, and has been working extremely hard behind the scenes on matters that don't necessarily make high profile news on the front pages of websites. This is definitely one to bookmark and return to, as plans are afoot for a major overhaul, and in the meantime the simple layout and fast downloads make it a worthwhile stopping off point regardless.

MPU Emu : A site that started off its life in a hail of enthusiasm and rich promises, but has settled down to the rather more sedate lifestyle of sporadic updates and a content chasm. Hosts most released classic layouts and ROMs, but the DX layouts link is still dead (along with "About Us"), and classic layouts released in the last few weeks have not been added. The tidy, attractive design can't compensate for a basic lack of updates and content - and if you're going to use my F.A.Q., please, at least take the time out of your day to make sure you're using the latest version, or even better, just link to it.....

MPU World : Very much one of the originals and still one of the best. Established only a week or so after the first incarnation of The Hovel, MPU World always has been, and remains to this day, just about as good as it gets. Originally set up and funded by Morphman, he's enlisted the sterling services of Kev, (who's not good enough to be an MPU Forums moderator though.....), to assist in the day to day running of the site, whilst Morphman still continues to do the scary techy stuff (the likes of which scares me) behind the scenes. Updated diligently, superb design, easy to navigate, hosts all released layouts and ROMs, along with a wealth of technical docs and other files. My only criticism would be that it sometimes seems to be a little too "clinical" - maybe a case of PHP-Nuke coding overtaking simple humanity, or is that all a bit too Blade Runner? Whatever, absolutely a daily must for any followers of the scene.

MPU Zone : Textbook definition of style over content, a nightmare on a 56k modem, utterly counter-intuitive (an image map where you need a big arrow to point to the bit you should click on for example), and stupid stuff such as you can only click on the actual pixels of the hyperlinked word to get from one bit of the site to the next (there's no "target box" around the whole word). The brutal truth of the matter is this, if you're going to do a fully fledged "sight 'n sounds" website in this day and age, it needs to be pretty damn special to hold your visitors' attention - and then, once you get past the flashiness there still needs to be content. You could wade in MPU Zone without getting your ankles wet.

That's not quite the all out attack it seems to be though, there's clearly some genuine design skill at work here, and with a bit of time and attention MPU Zone could grow to be a useful and enjoyable emulation resource, but at the moment, it's all show and no trousers.

Retop : Ahhh, this is a bit more like it. It's so simple guys, but just for those of you at the back, have a nav bar that is always visible whatever page of the site a visitor is looking at. However, thoroughly agreeable design aside there's precious little to really look at on this site as of yet. That said, by the author's own admission, it's very much a W.I.P., is largely just a showcase for his own releases, and since simply trying to get from one page to another doesn't make the hapless visitors' brain bleed, I can recommend that it's one to keep an eye on - innocent until proven guilty and so on and so forth.

Slotmatics : Bill Clinton once said, "It's the economy, stupid!", a reference to the fact that he'd been revealed as someone who liked to receive blow jobs in the White House from party activists twenty years his junior, and yet still commanded unprecedented support amongst the American people - although I think that's mainly to do with the fact that every bloke in the U.S.A. was then thinking "Fuck yeah man! If I was President of the U.S.A. I'd get every last blow job I could out of it.....".

And my point is? It's the content, stupid! If you want fancy flash animations and a two minute wait before you can read anything, try somewhere else, but if you actually want some genuine unique fruity content then try Slotmatics; not really much going on, a few old flyers, some technical manuals, and that's about it, but I guarantee it'll draw you in just as much as any other site in this list - and you won't even have to navigate through a dozen torturous menus just to get to the good stuff (or even worse, navigate through a dozen torturous menus and find there isn't any good stuff).

MPU FORUMS & JPM FORUMS : MPU Forums replaced the MSN Community, and now JPM Forums has duplicated many of the functions of MPU Forums for no apparent reason (although the shifting sands on the moderators front offers up a few clues). The only major focal points for fruit machine emulation discussion (and all sorts of other silly stuff as well) - these are both absolute musts for any followers of the scene, however much of an unpleasant taste it might leave in the mouth sometimes.

Maroney's Web Hovel : It's OK I suppose. Don't know what the fuck that horrible cheap blue wallpaper background is supposed to be all about though, anyone would think the site author had got his hands on Photoshop 6.0 and just gone "Huhhh? What the fuck am I supposed to do with this? Come back Deluxe Paint, all is forgiven!".

Choose a fucking big television.