An open letter

[stanmarsh14]

Hi folks, just popping in.....

Basically issues for me have been 2-fold.....

Most of you who know me well enough (There are a few members here who know me quite well on a 1-2-1 bases, and also whom have met mum), will know I am a full-time carer for me mum, who has a number of psychical and mental health issues, and that as a means to keep me sane for want of a better word, is the use of the net and focus on some key interests to keep me alive and give myself motivation of sorts.
The past 6 months with mum, have been especially trying, as physically, mum has been getting worse, and external help from local authorities has been quite poor, although after a quite unexpected but well appreciated home medical assessment for disabled adaptations and aid's just this past few weeks, things are now beginning to ease here.

As for my involvement with FME in general, generally splits in to two areas....... emulation, and restoration.

Emulation is where I first started out in the scene (I joined Fruit Forums not long after they moved from the MSN Groups based set up, and also associated sites like MPU Mecca not long after), getting involved in resources gathering, with ROM's, scans of reels and artwork, and spending time out in the wild with cameras, and even begging a few operators for any resources we could lay our hands on, with the big win of Empire opening up their ROM collection for emulation use, and certainly over the years as some of you who have been in FME for 10+ years will know, has not been an easy ride, but we all got through it in the end, and certainly for myself, have been on the front line of a few scrapes, and up till now, have managed to get through them all.

As part of the emulation side of things, I am / was also the involvement of assisting site owners in running said sites, bringing my wealth of experience from my working life (Before I became Mum's full-time carer), as a Trade Union official and management experience from the Retail Trade, as well as my experience from Management experience in co-assisting some pretty large BBS / Forums, like the ones at South Park Studios (There are others, but they are mostly of an Adult nature, so will not list them here), Napster (I so dam miss the community chat they had, spending a lot of time parked on their Alternative server), as well as running IRC networks (I also co-operated the IRC room for SP Studios), which I am still involved with to this day on the Chatabout IRC Network (I actually still own and operate one of the servers there), and although I may appear quite strict at times in my involvement with my management of these places, I always strived to be as fair and accommodating as possible, and the vast majority of "Joe Public" saw and appreciated just that.

The Restoration side of things, fits in well with my interests with electrics / electronics, as well as getting a chance to re-visit some games I used to play in my youth, along with the community aspect of assisting others with their projects, as well as getting help with my own..... Guess it's like the classic car scene in so many ways, getting that buzz of getting a rusting pile of shite back to its former glory.

Part of the restoration side of things from a social aspect anyway, also involves visiting fellow members collections, going on machine hunts / barn raids, and gathering with other like minded folks, to going on "Meets", which considering the above, is of massive importance for my mental well-being, as it gives me a break from issues with mum, keeps my mind focused, and helps me to relax.

This was especially so going to meets at Paul's in Birmingham, Mr P's in Gravesend, and other mini meets like at Nick's and Phil's, and gatherings with the guys from Jackpotty..... Yes, may seem daft to some, but you just don't know how much you guys have helped me mentally.

Unfortunately, FME has for me, been getting steadily worse the past 2 years at least, however, a few core members have so far managed to keep me going till now..... However various fall out's (Some which still to this day, I cannot get any expiation or reason from), members shunned / side-lined / banned because they dare to have a differing opinion on matters, and other rather stupid and petty reasons, is causing things to fall apart, and I have certainly been a victim of this, being side-lined (Or whatever you want to call it) etc, and without any reason, apart from I guess, to please a select few people with some axe to grind, and worse still, via the hands of people whom I thought I could trust and respected.

Unfortunately as part of this, it's had a rather negative impact on myself, and coupled with issues at home, has knocked my confidence quite a bit, to the point I have had to pull back from things to give myself time to think.

Maybe it's because I am a bit stubborn, but I don't want to just throw away this colossal amount of time I have spent in FME and let recent events from pushing me out all together, something which I do love and in times past, found comfort in, but as like Daryl was forced eventually to do for slightly different reasons, maybe I need to re-evaluate whom I trust etc.

I just don't know what to do, as I am torn on where I do go from here, but things like taking a run out to Ron's the other day (MPU Mecca), and attending this years ICE Expo at London with a few members may help.

One thing I do want to make absolutely clear though in closing, I first of all want to thank Pete W for an absolutely outstanding effort for running MPU Mecca, as well as Gambo and the rest of his staff for their involvement at Jackpotty..... Take it from me, I sure as hell appreciate your work and efforts in running the places, make no mistake on that!

Regards,
Mark

[niallquinn]

Take time away from FME and bandits, return, if and when you're ready.  You don't owe anybody anything Mark.

Stick to looking after your mam.


NQ.

[Daryl]

You know my true reply to this my friend...

...you are more important, as is your mum, than anything FME - your health and that of those around you should mean more to you than anything that happens on a forum or within an online community.

FME will continue to go on, whether you or I put our input there or not... it has a membership to make it continue long into the future (I hope that the emulators follow for them too) and in part throughout the last decade mate you've made that scene continue to survive with your valuable input, resource gathering, visiting members and being the kind of guy that I am very pleased to call my friend, on a personal level, not just via the internet.

Take the break Mark... I did, and as I have mentioned previously - it did me wonders to come back vitalised and free of responsibility, although I never regretted becoming a Moderator at Fruit Emu and I personally want to also take this opportunity to give a massive thanks and hug to Ady for the support as a personal friend and recommending me all those years ago to take the position - I know a few members will feel differently about him, and Mark here - but I just want to say this:

We've all done things we regret in life, but this is just a hobby, a forum-based community where we can play slots from the past on our computers now. It is NOT the soul-meaning of life and isn't to be taken like it has by many members who have vendettas, grudges and gripes within the community.

Let us remember that everyone is human (I hope) who joins the FME community and as such as the baggage that humanity brings with it - the sheer hatred and vitriol that has swept FME, and particularly Fruit Emu these past few months has been a shameful episode, by all concerned and all parties... as you can see from Mark's thread, his conditions in real life have taken their toll and I and others here should take a little responsibility for how things have gotten and the toll it has taken.

This hatred towards each other needs to end - FME will not survive if it continues as it is in its present form... you need to work together before it is too late.

you know where I'm at bud! x

[Geddy]

Hang in there fella, we will all be here when you come back.... unless we give alth a Ban Hammer!!!

[stanmarsh14]

As you can probs guess I am back, after a much needed kick up the 'arris by a long time friend who lives close to me, who make me look and take stock of things happening around me.

Thanks to those here who have commented..... it certainly helps to see folks around who do care, and that certainly I am not alone.

[Daryl]

As you can probs guess I am back, after a much needed kick up the 'arris by a long time friend who lives close to me, who make me look and take stock of things happening around me.

Thanks to those here who have commented..... it certainly helps to see folks around who do care, and that certainly I am not alone.

You were never, ever alone mate... and if I know that friend of yours whose had words with you... well I think that is the only thing really needed these past few days - now stay on the ball!

[Slasher]

For fuck sake why did you come back already. Fuck off

[stanmarsh14]

For fuck sake why did you come back already. Fuck off

You know what, you and Graham (Superbank) should get married...... you would make the perfect couple

[stanmarsh14]

Something else I need to say..... Andrew (DAD)..... although I do still feel right to air my grievances, what was totally uncalled from myself, was the rather aggressive language I used towards yourself, and for that I do apologise unreservedly..... yes I was sort of under duress at the time, but it's no excuse at all to take it out on yourself.

[Slasher]

Good so you should be sorry!

[stanmarsh14]

Good so you should be sorry!

Remind me to stop off in Soho first for some lube, before I meet you all @ ICE..... or do you like it dry?

[Slasher]

You want some???

[stanmarsh14]

You want some???

Nah, just preparing you for the arrival of Scott