Dirty Jokes..... and maybe few clean ones too.

[stanmarsh14]

If you close your eyes whilst rubbing a Kiwi fruit in one hand and a testicle in the other, its hard to tell the difference...

It also gets you banned from Tescos!

[Daryl]

After 70 years of marriage, celebrating with The Queen and Prince Philip, one old man was asked in an interview why he always used terms of endearment such as 'darling', 'sweetheart' and 'love' to his wife after all that time...

"Because I forgotten her name about 10 years ago and haven't dared ask her for it since!" came his classic reply. 

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[cashbox1]

boy george was up before the court this morning after his pet reptile kept attacking passers by,the judge told him he needed a calmer chameleon

[Daryl]

Ooh I say...

Know what I mean Harry?! 

[attach name=31131257_675585812790729_1024303889974820864_n.jpg type=image/jpeg]2897[/attach]

[Daryl]

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
 

Licalotapus..

[stanmarsh14]

As it's 1st June (Blame Geddy for this)....

[11:46am] <@Hisao> !quote strawberry
[11:46am] <@sm14|lappy> "I went to the world strawberry picking championships today.... a woman with no legs won....... jammy cunt !!!!! - Troutman - 03/09/2003 " {(mpu34 #287)} {(1 results)}

[Daryl]

A Scottish woman walks into her bedroom and catches her husband wanking into a wellie...

"Och aye Jock" she yells - "you dirty barsted... stop fooking aboot"!! 

[Daryl]

[attach name=73D57E00-F53A-4850-BC86-42ABFAFD558F.jpeg type=image/jpeg]2965[/attach]

Made me smile...

[Daryl]

Well, we mustn't be too morbid in life, must we?! 

[Daryl]

Guilty! 

[Daryl]

Archaeologists have found a new tomb in Egypt, with a mummy wrapped up in it with chocolates and hazelnuts placed on top of the body...

They believe it to be the long-lost "Pharaoh Rocher"...

[altharic]

My family were having an argument about which was the better film Tangled or Frozen it got quite heated so I told them to let it go.....



No you fuck off.

[Daryl]

Made me smile...

[Marlon36]

I mistakenly took some Viagra thinking they were sleeping pills. Instead of having 40 winks, I had 40 wanks.  

[Amusements]

Guy walks in to chip shop and walks up to the counter, and says "Give me a bag of fucking chips mate!" The shop owner behind the counter is non too impressed with him, and says "Excuse me! You don't come in here talking like that. You come and stand behind the counter and let me show you how to ask for chips properly".

So they swop places. The owner walks up to the counter and says "Give me bag of chips PLEASE". The man behind the counter says "FUCKOFF you wouldnt serve me!"